I am an animal lover. Planet Earth is my shit. I could watch that all day. I have had numerous dreams about finding a wolf cub/bear cub and raising it as my own to the effect that we are best friends. Pretty much exactly like those stories you read about in Russia and Alaska. However, I will not fall into the trap that the Cincinnati Zoo is placing in trying to get me to love hippos.
Only an idiot would trust a hippo. Everyone says how crocodiles and alligators are living dinosaurs, does this thing not look like a fucking dinosaur?? It is essentially a triceratops or rhino without the horns. Oh and did I mention that they will bull rush you in water like Ray Lewis in the A-gap? The only difference is that hippos don’t need a weapon to kill you, they will just crack your skull and leave you to drown. They don’t even have the decency to eat your corpse and recycle you into the ecosystem. Fucking psychos. And if you don’t believe me, take a look at this. You trust them all you want but they ain’t fooling me that’s for sure.