Devils, Sports

Why the Devils Deserve Your Loyalty

Why the fuck is barely anyone from New Jersey a New Jersey Devils fan? Put aside the fact that they have sucked the past few years and think about that question. I will tell you why, the majority of people living in this state are a traitorous and brainless band of betas who have no loyalty to their home state and don’t think for themselves. You go to North Jersey and everyone is a fucking Rangers fan, you go to South Jersey and everyone is a fucking Flyers fan. Central Jersey doesn’t really exist so forget about them. The fact remains, there are wanna-be instagram models who have more followers than the Devils, New Jersey’s one and only professional sports team.

We had the New Jersey Nets. The golden era of Jason Kid, Vince Carter, Richard Jefferson and Kerry Kittles. They gave us the relatively consistent excitement of playoff basketball and a little bit of state pride when sandwiched between two big franchises like the 76ers and the Knicks. But then Jay-Z and the hipster infested borough of Brookyln had to go and fuck that up.

We kind of have the Jets and Giants since they play in the Meadow lands (which is in New Jersey) but they will always be New York football teams.

The Devils are 3-0 against the Flyers this season. Outscoring them 14-3. We beat the Flying fuck out of them and always do, but whenever you go to a game or watch a game at the bar there are always people from New Jersey who root for the Flyers. Fuck the Flyers. That scummy, dirty, trashy and honor-less city hasn’t done anything besides support Its’ Always Sunny since the signing of the Declaration of Independence. I don’t give a shit if your Dad was from Philly and that’s why you’re a fan. Think for yourself, you’re not a god damn lapdog.

And it’s the same thing for Rangers’ fans. We are 1-1-2 against them, not great but not terrible. We beat them in a great game last night that included some great fights, some great hockey, and an especially great outcome. But still probably half the people at the game were New Jersey natives wearing blue sweaters. There are few things I can’t stand more than a lack of loyalty and this shit just pisses me off.

I’m sure once the Devils start winning again the fans will come out of the woodwork but jesus people, can we get some support behind the only team we have left? Even if their play doesn’t deserve it right now, they need it. This team has always had a lot of fight, they just need some people in their corner.

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Crazy Shit, Television

So Tim Allen, Maybe don’t compare yourself to the Persecuted Jews of Nazi Germany?

If you haven’t heard this story yet check it out here cause it is a doozy. I almost believe that this has to be some kind of joke. Is anyone truly this dumb? Idk what west coast weed Tim Allen is smoking but there is no shot anyone is gonna side with you on this one pal, idc how funny you are. Like I understand what he was saying, that Hollywood is so overrun with liberals that being a conservative is like being a socialist in that Bryan Kranston movie called Trumbo, (actually a pretty decent flick). But the point is how the fuck are you so dumb as to actually say your Hollywood friends not inviting you over for brunch is the same as being forcibly relocated, separated from your loved ones and eventually… well you know the rest. Haven’t seen this kind of stupid out of a celebrity in a while, but please I hope they keep em coming, its not every day you get to use outrageous references from Silicon Valley. (Also Timmy, can’t help that Hollywood has a lot of jews, I’m just sayin.)

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Animals, Crazy Shit

Don’t Let The Cincinnati Zoo and this Cute Hippo Fool You

I am an animal lover. Planet Earth is my shit. I could watch that all day. I have had numerous dreams about finding a wolf cub/bear cub and raising it as my own to the effect that we are best friends. Pretty much exactly like those stories you read about in Russia and Alaska. However, I will not fall into the trap that the Cincinnati Zoo is placing in trying to get me to love hippos. Continue reading

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Television

Why You Need to Watch HBO’s The Leftovers

One of the few things I pride myself on in my life is my judgement. Whether it’s judgment of a person, a place, or more importantly, a television show or movie. I fucking love movies and TV, probably to the point of obsession. The amount of brain space I have wasted remembering lines, characters, plots etc. is probably pretty depressing. Regardless, I take this shit serious and I mean it when I say you need to watch The Leftovers. Continue reading

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International

Does this look like the woman you want promoting your nightclubs?

London woman

“…from her native New Jersey, Amy Lamé has staged a late-night manifesto on protected sex in one of the city’s most notorious gay cruising zones, and created and hosted a sex and sexuality-themed TV game show. She has also emceed a cabaret night whose guests have included a flame dancer, a hula hoop artist and a stripping dwarf.”

Uhhh yeah that’s gonna be a no for me dog. So I guess since all that brexit shit happened, London’s nightclub scene is goin tits up and the government is stepping in to try and fix it? I have never been a big club guy but it doesn’t sound like places notorious for promoting nefarious lifestyles and the government should mix. Tip of the cap to the Brits for trying to stimulate the economy with more ecstasy filled raves and sweat-sleeked orgy parties but I’m not sure that this is the best way to get people to forget that you abandoned the EU.

And I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job but why the hell would you pick this Dolores Umbridge lookin woman? From the small amount of experience I do have with clubs I would say that they are promoted by sleezy dudes and slutty chicks. But hey those redcoats love their Game of Thrones so maybe Tyrion Lannister jumping through hula hoops on fire is exactly what their nightlife needs.

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Maryland basketball, Sports

Maryland Basketball and Medellin, one and the same

Last night, to me, was like a movie premiere I had really been looking forward to for months that didn’t even remotely come close to the expectations. We had a big star on the team set to carry us, (Melo Trimble), a supposed pretty good director who just got paid and should know how to put it all together, (Mark Turgeon), and a relatively unknown and untested supporting cast that had a lot of promise and potential, (Huerter, Cowan, Jackson, etc.) Sounds like the makings of a pretty good movie am I right? So then how the fuck did we suck worse than Medellin at Cannes??

It is because we fell victim to the same exact problems that Vinny Chase, E, and Billy Walsh ran into, over hype, false confidence, and false hope. Our regular season was equivalent to the leaked Medillin trailer that got everyone excited and hyped about us. With three starting freshman we weren’t supposed to have such early season success, we weren’t supposed to win 20 out of our first 22 games. And with Melo at the helm people started believing maybe we can make a run this year. We developed feelings of hope and belief only to show up at the big dance with our pants around our ankles.

The sad thing is that I have seen this movie before. Last year I would argue we had one of, if not the most talented team in the NCAA. Our entire starting lineup could have gone to the NBA, and barring Melo having a down season, they all might have. Before that the terps did the same thing with Dez Wells and Alex Len.

So I ask you then, what the shit are we doing wrong? I hesitate to put all of the blame on Turgeon because he seems a pretty decent recruiter, is a players coach and the #loveday crew all seem to love him. And he has had success…in the regular season. When does winning over 20 games against a pretty weak out of conference schedule stop becoming enough to keep his head out of the chopping block? And don’t get me wrong, I am not calling for his head…yet. All I am saying is that he needs to show Terpnation and the rest of the country that he can have success in the postseason or he needs to get shown out of College Park.

A lot of people are gonna say that they predicted Maryland losing in the first round because they shouldn’t have even been a 6 seed in the first place and you wouldn’t be wrong. But fuck it, the season is over and try as I might to not get excited for next year, the future looks pretty good. With three starting freshman returning as sophomores and with the potential to bring Melo back for his senior year, who knows…

Ah shit, I can see the sequel now.

walsh

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